


To Fall In Paradise

by brooklyn1967



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: ADHD, AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Evan Hansen, Borderline Personality Disorder, Camping, Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen) Has BPD, Depression, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), I just love my boys, I will add tags as I go, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Suicide, add, also im british that doesnt understand american culture so well see how this goes, disorded eating, i am connor trash, i guess, its before evans fall but after connors suicide attempt, let the murphy siblings heal, so no broken arm yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 03:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14729495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklyn1967/pseuds/brooklyn1967
Summary: When the Kleinmann's won a competition to spend the summer at Paradise Falls, a luxury camping experience, they insisted that Heidi and Evan Hansen joined them.Cynthia Murphy had read that spending a summer away somewhere camping was meant to help families get along and get past difficulties and trauma.Evan and Connor weren't expecting to find a friend when they went away, but the world is full of surprises.(AKA I watched a vlog about centre parcs and now I have to write this. You're welcome)





	1. Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Welcome to To Fall In Paradise! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> I'm Brooke and I love Connor Murphy with all my heart. I'm british so I don't understand american culture but I'm trying my best so lets see how this turns out!
> 
> TW:  
> none I don't think?  
> Anxiety???? but that's always so

“If I have to sit in another car anytime soon I’m quitting.” Evan heard Jared’s voice before he saw him. The other boy was walking towards him along with his parents. Jared was wearing a hawaiian shirt and a pair of shorts, complete with his prescription sunglasses. He would always remind Evan how lucky he was that he didn’t have to keep changing his glasses in the summer just to be able to see. Evan would probably not bother with sunglasses if he had to wear normal glasses as well, remembering to pack his normal sunglasses was hard enough as it was. That reminded him, had he packed his sunglasses? He would have to check once they got to the lodge. 

Evan and Heidi had been sat in the welcome centre of  _ Paradise Falls _ for around 20 minutes, waiting for the Kleinmann’s to arrive. Jared’s dad, Peter, had won a break for a group of six to the park for the summer and they had kindly invited Heidi and Evan along with them. It meant they had a spare ticket but they insisted that the Hansen’s joined them. 

“Who else would we take?” They would say. “Evan and Jared have been friends since babies, and Heidi you deserve a rest.” Heidi had booked time of work and had tirelessly been working overtime to make up for it. The two families had decided to take separate cars for the 3 and a half hour car journey as they didn’t think there would be enough room in one car with the five of them plus bags. Evan didn’t mind, it meant he got to relax a little before having to be with Jared and his parents pretty much all the time. He wasn’t used to being around people so much without a break, he didn’t quite know how he’d cope, that is if he did cope. 

“Good Afternoon.” Jared’s parents smiled at them, basically in unison. Evan just gave a weak smile back. He was tired from the journey and just wanted to nap but he pushed those thoughts down and acted like he was excited. 

“Peter, Anne. How was the journey?” Heidi gave Anne, Jared’s mom, a hug before Peter gave her a kiss on the cheek. They both turned to Evan expectantly so he stuttered out a ‘hello’. Anne looked like he was about to give him a hug before she remembered that Evan didn’t like human contact so she just smiled at him, along with Peter. 

“It wasn’t too bad, a bit long but that was to be expected. I hope you haven’t been waiting here  too long. Jared insisted that we stopped to get lunch.” Peter explained to them and Jared rolled his eyes. 

“Oh not at all, we’ve just arrived,” that was a lie, Evan thought. “Should we go and check in? You boys wait here we won’t be long.” Heidi told them both before heading towards the desk with Anne and Peter. She looked happy and Evan knew she had been excited about this trip, no matter how hard she had worked beforehand to make sure she got the time off. Evan wished he could be that excited but for some reason, he just couldn’t. He didn’t want to disappoint her though so whenever she mentioned her excitement, Evan would just agree with her. He wasn’t expecting this trip to be much. Some of the activities looked kinda fun but it meant a lot of talking and interacting and he just didn’t feel up to that. He had to try though, after the kindness of the Kleinmann’s for inviting him, plus he didn’t want to disappoint his mom. 

“Are you ready?” Jared grinned as he nudged Evan’s arm.

“Ready for what?” Evan asked. There was a very short list of people that Evan didn’t stutter in front of and that consisted of his mom and Jared. Even then, he sometimes stuttered and made a fool of himself in front of them. Jared rolled his eyes. 

“A whole summer with the insanely cool Jared Kleinmann of course. Apparently we have a luxury lake-view lodge and of course, there are enough trees around to keep you and your tree kink happy.” Jared smirked, picking up one of the leaflets from the small counter they were standing near and flicking through it. 

“It’s not a kink. I just really like trees.” Evan felt his cheeks burn. 

“That’s something someone with a tree kink would say. Besides, who just really likes trees?” 

“Come on boys. Time to move in. Apparently, there’s parking down there so we’re going to drive 

down.” Peter told them as he approached with his wife and Heidi who were chatting happily. He had a packet of welcome pamphlets in his hand which must have included all the information they needed for their stay.

“Don’t tell me I have to get back into that car again? So soon?” Jared grumbled as he walked towards his parent's car that seemed to be stuffed full of bags, Evan wondered whether Jared would actually fit or not. Evan followed his own mom to their car and climbed into the passenger seat. 

The drive to the lodge was beautiful, to say the least. Everywhere you looked there were trees and Evan couldn’t stop himself from naming each type on his head. There were children riding their bikes and playing ball games, couples walking hand in hand and everyone looked so happy. Evan had looked at a map of the park while he had been waiting for Jared and his family to arrive. It had seemed that there was a vast lake in the centre which had cabins dotted around it which was where they were staying. There was a selection of play parks and buildings with different names from the village square to the country club. The buildings were around the lake between patches of grass, picnic space and forest. Then surrounding those buildings were the normal lodges and apartments on the outside of the park. It was massive and Evan was scared that he was going to get lost as he made a mental note to himself to make sure he always had a map tucked into his pocket. 

“Pretty swanky huh? Or is swanky not a word you cool kids use?” Heidi made conversation as they drove with the radio playing quietly in the background. 

“It’s really cool.” 

“I bet you can’t wait to get a look at those trees and plants, just don’t fall if you and Jared decide to climb one.” 

“I don’t really think Jared is the type to climb trees,” Evan muttered. He, on the other hand, was always climbing trees. It helped to calm him down when things got too much. He could climb and be separate from everything else, away from everything else. Sometimes he would take his camera up with him and take pictures of the view. 

“This is going to be good for you, Evan. Time to get away from it all before senior year. Dr Sherman couldn’t have been happier when I mentioned it to him.” That was true. Heidi had phoned him to check being away from therapy for that long would be okay for Evan and when Dr Sherman, Evan’s therapist, saw Evan after that call he nearly jumped for joy. He said it would help him ‘grow’ before senior year. He had been hesitant letting Evan go therapy free, though so he gave Evan his work phone and told him to call him at the usual time bi-weekly for an over the phone session. Evan was dreading it, he hated talking on the phone just to his mum so talking to Dr Sherman was going to be so much worse but we wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Yeah, it sounds great mom.” 

“I’m glad, honey. Looks like they’re pulling in, this one must be ours.” Heidi followed the Kleinmann’s car into the driveway that was in front of a wooden lodge on the edge of the lake. It was two stories tall and bigger than Evan had been expecting. He thought it was just going to be a little cabin like that time he went skiing when he was five with his mom and dad. 

Both Hansen’s got out the car as did the Kleinmann’s whose car was now parked next to theirs. 

“This is pretty impressive. Boys go take your bags inside, I think you guys are on the second floor with the two doubles.” Anne told them as she opened the boot of her car.

“Do you want any help mom?” Evan asked as Heidi opened her own car boot to get the bags out.

“No go inside and settle in, I can handle this.” She smiled in reply passing Evan his suitcase and he turned around to follow Evan inside. 

As soon as you stepped into the lodge the walls were a cream colour and there were stairs leading up to the right with a hallway down the left. There was a row of coat pegs and a bench along the wall which had pictures of sailboats, one was even a blueprint, and there were different decorations which related to the ocean; a fake pressure gauge and clock, seashells and flags. 

Evan followed Jared upstairs, turning his suitcase on its side so he could lift it and carry it up. The upstairs landing was similar to the hallway. There were three doors, one to the left, one in front and one to the right. Jared opened the one to the left and shook his head. 

“That’s only got one double.” He told Evan. “It’s got a nice en-suite though.” He tried the door in the middle and with an ‘ah hah’ walked inside. The walls of the bedroom were the same cream as the hallways. There were two double beds along the white wall with blue fabric bed frames and there were golden throw blankets and pillows on top of the duvet. There was a TV along the left wall with a large desk underneath which situated two chairs. There was a single bedside table between the two beds with a lamp on top and either side of the beds were wardrobes. The wall in front of them was covered in golden drapes that covered the sliding doors which lead to their balcony and tucked in the corner was a blue armchair and footstool. 

Jared dumped his bags down on the bed closest to window and jumped back on the space that was left. 

“Man, I could get used to this,” He muttered, stretching his arms out behind his head. Evan put his bag onto his own bed before pulling open the drapes and looking out the window. The balcony house a table and two deck chairs. The view was incredible as it outlooked lake. Jared got up and joined Evan at the window, pushing the doors open and stepping outside. Evan followed, amazed at his surroundings. He had not been expecting this no matter how many times Jared had said they were staying in a luxury lakeside lodge. His mom could never afford a place like this, who could?

From the balcony, you could see a glimpse of the two lodges either side of theirs and their balcony’s. Evan also noticed that there was a jetty poking out from the left of their lodge, leading into the water. 

 

“Don’t worry I bought the scrunchie,” Jared told him as the two boys were unpacking. He held up a bright pink scrunchie for Evan to see and slipped it on the inside door handle. 

“What do we need a scrunchie for? 

“Oh, oblivious Evan. In case we, or shall I say I, meet a hot girl and need some way of telling you not to come in.” Jared explained, wiggling his eyebrows, as he continued hanging his clothes up in his wardrobe. It turned out at the bottom of the wardrobes were drawers as well, so Evan was packing his socks and underwear away.

“Oh.” He muttered, putting the last pair of socks away and closing the bottom drawer. 

“Yeah.” Jared grinned zipping up his suitcase and hiding it under his bed. 

“Sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” Jared rolled his eyes, he did that a lot Evan noticed. “Can you believe dad won this place? For the whole summer? I thought the competition would be a waste of time but now look at us.” 

“Yeah. Thanks for inviting me.” Evan copied Jared once he was finished packing and pushed his suitcase under his own bed, and then sat on the edge of his bed, fiddling with the loose string on his blue polo shirt. 

“Don’t thank me. It was my parent's decision. We’re just family friends remember.” Jared kept on reminding Evan that they were only family friends, whatever that meant, but Evan could never forget with how often he said it. 

“I was going to go to camp again this summer,” Jared continued, “But Jeremy and Michael will just have to cope without me and they better not let our house lose the flag.” Jeremy and Michael were Jared’s other friends, his real friends, who he would sit with most of the time at lunch and would hang out with to play video games. Jared flicked the TV off and jumped off his bed, “You finished? Let’s go explore the rest of the lodge.” 

Evan and Jared both left their room, went downstairs and down the hallway. They passed a door on their right which must have been the other bedroom and then the hallway opened up into an open plan kitchen-living-diner. There was one feature wall of dark blue and the room held the accents of gold that seemed to be the theme of the house. The kitchen was to the left of the entry with a lounging area to the right. Along the far wall were glass doors which lead to a balcony just like the bedroom. The kitchen had a breakfast bar and near the doors was a dining table with six seats. 

“You two settled in okay?” Peter asked from where he was lounging on the sofa. Heidi and Anne were both on the balcony, overlooking the lake. 

“This place is sick.” Jared grinned, taking a grape from the bunch that was on the breakfast bar. 

“Y-yeah, thanks again, Mr-Mr Kleinmann.” Evan rubbed his fingers along the edge of his shirt so he had something else to focus on.

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Peter.” Peter chuckled. 

“Right sorry, Mr- Peter.” 

“I hope you enjoy it here Evan.” Evan nodded in response and walked over to the balcony with Jared, to join their moms.

“This view is amazing. I bet we can hire boats and explore that island at some point.” Jared pointed towards the island that was situated in the middle of the lake. 

“D-do you know how to c-control a boat?” Evan asked. The idea of being in a boat manned by Jared made him feel sick. He was sure they would sink within five minutes of moving. 

“No, but I’m sure it’s not that hard. Just like driving a car or a bike right?”  _ Right,  _ Evan thought, he highly doubted it would be as easy as Jared seemed to think it was. 

“Jared. Evan. We’re going to explore the park and get our bearings before going out to find dinner somewhere. You coming?” Anne told them both as Heidi gave him a reassuring smile when she noticed him fiddling with his shirt. He hated when she did that, it made him feel like a little kid. 

“Yeah-yeah, come on Evan.” Jared basically bounced back into the lodge as they all prepared to head out

“What’s your room like, honey? Remind me to steal one of the pillows before we leave. Try and relax while we’re here. This is meant to be a fun break.” Heidi grinned as she walked back inside with her son and picked up her phone and keys off the dining table. 

“Before we forget! Here’s a key for each of you, that way you can come and go as you please instead of being stuck with us oldies.” Anne laughed handing Evan a key which was attached to a dog table with their lodge number on it. 

“Connor will you take those goddamn headphones off and help your mother with her bags.” Evan heard the angry voice as soon as he exited the cabin. He looked up and saw two people he did not expect to bump into this summer. 

“Woah is that?” Jared turned to Evan with a smirk. 

“It’s Zoe,” Evan stated. Zoe Murphy was in the year below them at their high school. She had her brown hair tied up into a loose ponytail and was wearing a pair of blue shorts and a plaid shirt on top of a white tank. Next to her was her brother, Connor, who was in the same year as Evan and Jared. He had shoulder-length brown hair and was wearing his signature black jeans, black hoodie and combat boots. He also had a pair of headphones on his head. Evan couldn’t help but wonder how he wasn’t melting in that outfit. He was sweating in just his shorts and polo, but that could have just been his anxiety. There was also a man and a woman, who must have been their parents. 

“Larry calm down, this is meant to be a calm break for all of us. I can handle my own bags. Oh, thank you, Connor.” The lady, Connor and Zoe’s mom, said starting to pull a bag out of the car before Connor took it instead. He hadn’t taken his headphones off but he was starting to unpack the car and drag some of the bags into the lodge next to the one Evan was staying in. 

“And her crazy school shooter brother.” Jared winced as he took in Connor. 

“Jared.” Anne scolded as she walked past him and caught a snippet of their conversation. 

“What are the chances we’d come here and be in the lodge next to your crush. Maybe you’ll be the one with a summer romance after all, that is if you actually grow the balls to speak to her.” Jared smirked.

“I told you I don’t like her like that anymore,” Evan muttered. He had had a crush on Zoe since she was a freshman but that had faded away at the end of last year. Evan didn’t know why or how but he just saw her one day and realised he just didn’t like her like that anymore. Evan knew it hadn’t been much of a crush anyway, he just idolised her. She was bubbly and confident and was in jazz band. 

“Sure you don’t. That's the first time we’ve seen Connor in a while though. Apparently, he went to juvie after spring break and that’s why he hasn’t been in school.” 

“Juvie? I thought you said it was rehab.” Evan questioned. Connor hadn’t returned to school after spring break and it had been all anyone was talking about for months. There were all sorts of rumours as to why he’d disappeared, juvie and rehab being the most popular two. No one knew where he had really gone though. Evan was curious but he knew it was none of his business so he just tried to ignored the rumours that were being spread about the other boy. 

“Eh, either or. Either way, we know he’s batshit.” Jared ran to catch up with the three adults as they started their exploration of the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you all know I spent an hour drawing out a really crappy map of Paradise Falls so I knew it's layout. 
> 
> I wasn't (and I'm still not) sure about this idea but I think it could work out really good so I hope you think so too. 
> 
> I haven't got much to say yet but comment because it will save me from my a levels and motivate me to write :) 
> 
> thanks for reading!!!


	2. A Broken Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Murphy's arrive!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So here's chapter two! It's shorter than I would have liked but I wanted to get these first two chapters out because they're just sort of setting up the story but I hope you enjoy! I kind of struggled with this one because I love Connor but he's such a complex character to write. Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> TW:   
> I don't think there's any?   
> Weed use??   
> Anger issues???  
> Dysfunctional families??????

The car journey had been long. It had ended up lasting four hours with traffic and Connor was more than happy to get out the car to stretch his legs. The whole ride Connor had spent with his headphones in, to make sure his family understood not to talk to him. He would admit that he was in a bad mood and he wanted to reduce the casualties of that as much as possible, and blocking out his family was the only way to do that. He hadn’t wanted to go on this trip to Paradise Falls. He knew it meant that he would have to actually go out and do things or his family would be on his back more than they normally were but all he wanted to do this summer was lay in bed and waste away. 

The reason they were on the luxury camping trip was that his mom thought it would help the family heal and grow closer together. What a load of bullshit. After the events of the spring Connor’s mom, Cynthia had been looking for any and every way for the family to heal from it. Of course, Larry and Zoe also thought it was bullshit but they didn’t voice it like he had. They just grimaced through it to try and make his mom happy. 

“We’re here! Oh, isn’t this exciting. Aren’t you guys excited?” Cynthia grinned as they pulled up in front of a wooden lodge that was overlooking a lake. It was the desperate type of smile, Connor noticed, and he felt guilty for being the one to have caused her to become so desperate in a search to fix everything and be like how it was when Connor and Zoe were growing up.

“Of course mom, I heard they have horse riding, I’ve been meaning to try out lessons for a while,” Zoe replied as they all got out the car, Connor still had his headphones in but he could hear their conversation over his music. 

“Excellent, that’d be fun. Connor would you like to try that as well or how about the aerial tree adventure?” They had checked in five minutes ago before driving to their lodge and Cynthia had collected a bunch of leaflets on all the different activities that they had to offer, she had been listing them all off on the way to their accommodation. 

“Connor will you take those goddamn headphones off and help your mother with her bags,” Larry snapped as he pulled out the bags from the trunk of the car. Connor had just been standing with his own duffel bag over his shoulder and his hands in his pockets and he shoved some dirt with the toe of his combat boots. It was a warm day and Connor was wearing his normal black hoodie, jeans and boots. After everything that had happened, he knew it was probably pointless to hide away in his clothes but habits are habits and they're hard to break. 

“Larry calm down, this is meant to be a calm break for all of us. I can handle my own bags. Oh, thank you, Connor,” Cynthia smiled as Connor walked up and took her bag from her as well as pulling out her suitcase from the car and dragged it up to the lodge of the house and stopped when he reached the door.

“Don’t they go to our school?” Zoe asked, looking in the direction of the lodge next to theirs and Connor followed her gaze. She was right. At the door of the building were three adults and two teenagers the same age as Connor. One of them Connor recognized straight away as Jared Kleinmann, he was an obnoxious dick that Connor couldn’t stand to be around and unfortunately, went to the same school as him. This trip was just getting better and better, Connor thought. Next to Jared was a blonde boy who Connor had seen around his school as well. His name was Ethan or Evan or something. He was quiet so Connor never really paid much attention to him except the time when he had to do a presentation in English class a few years ago and ended up having a panic attack halfway through.

“What’s that honey?” Cynthia asked, flicking through the welcome pack she was holding, trying to find the keys to the lodge before looking up. “Oh, they look about your age, maybe you and Connor will be able to hang out with them sometime.” Connor rolled his eyes at that. No way was he going to make friends this trip, especially not with Kleinmann. He had always been a bit of a loner, only hanging out with the stoners sometimes behind the bleachers at schools and that wasn’t going to change just because he was on some hippy recovery trip. 

“Are you alright carrying all that Zoe? Maybe Connor could help.” Larry looked at Connor expectedly which pushed his mood over the edge. Larry always had that effect on him. He acted like Connor was a waste of space that he couldn’t stand to be around which made Connor’s blood boil so their conversations always ended with him storming away shouting profanities at his father.

“Do I look like a fucking octopus to you?” Connor snapped, throwing his arms out to exaggerate the bags he was already carrying. 

“I’m fine dad, I can manage it.” Zoe sighed, hoisting her backpack up onto her shoulder where it had started to fall down. 

“So according to this leaflet, the lodge has three bedrooms. Two are upstairs with a shared bathroom so you two can decide who has what. Here are your keys.” Cynthia passed a set of keys to Zoe and another to Connor, as she read through a pamphlet. “Connor, honey, just dump my bags at the bottom of the stairs and go and unpack.” She smiled. Zoe unlocked the door to the lodge before going inside and heading straight up the stairs. 

Connor entered the hallway which had a nautical theme to it, with blue and gold decorations. He placed his mom's bags in the corner near the coat hooks before following Zoe.

“Which one do you want?” Zoe asked as he joined her at the top of the stairs. There were two doors, one to the left and one to the right. 

“The one at home maybe? Anywhere but here,” Connor responded, sarcastically. 

“Connor, can you at least give this a go? To try and make mom happy,” Zoe rubbed at her eyes. She looked tired with dark eye circles and her eyes didn’t seem as bright as Connor remembered them being. He wondered what had caused her to change and when it had happened. It was probably him, he thought, hating himself that little bit more. 

“Fuck off, Zoe.” He groaned, regretting it instantly. Zoe’s features were indifferent and he hated that she was used to him treating her like shit. She didn’t deserve it but for some reason, he acted before he could think about what he was doing. “What does she think this is going to do? Magically transform us into the Brady Bunch. Spoiler alert, that’s not going to happen.” Connor stormed into the room on the right and slammed the door behind him. He was itching for a smoke but instead, he chucked his bags onto the floor and collapsed onto his bed, closing his eyes and listening to his music. 

 

What must have been a couple hours later there was a knock on Connor’s bedroom door and without waiting for a response Zoe walked in. 

“Mom says the takeaway is here. We’re all eating out on the balcony.”

“I’m not hungry.” He turned her back to her, to try and make it clear that he was not going downstairs and covered his head with a pillow. 

“Dad told me to make sure I don’t go back down without you no matter what you say. Have you not even unpacked yet?” She told him, and Connor imagined her crossing her arms as she frowned, like she always did when Connor didn’t comply. 

“Why does it matter?” He responded a little louder than he had meant to and instantly regretted it.    


“Connor.”

“Whatever I’m coming.” He pushed the pillow away and sat up as he noticed that his headphones had fallen out. He picked up his phone to stop the music that it was still playing before getting up and following Zoe downstairs. 

“This smells delicious.” Zoe smiled as Cynthia passed her a plate of the Thai takeaway they had ordered from one of the on-site restaurants. “Thank you.” 

“Have you not got anything to say, Connor?” Larry collected his own plate and handed some cutlery to Cynthia. 

“If I did I would have said it,” Connor muttered, collecting his own plate and cutlery. 

“What’s your room like, honey? Is it nice?” Cynthia smiled. 

“Well it has a door so that’s something, or are you going to remove that one as well Larry?” Connor snapped. It was too much, the whole day had been too much. He wanted to get the hell away from his family, get high and do something stupidly reckless but instead, he was stuck in fucking  _ Paradise Falls _ for the summer. What kind of place is called Paradise Falls anyway?

“You know that was for your safety-” Cynthia tried to remain calm as she started her spiel about how getting rid of his door at home was for his own safety and that’d he’d get it back as soon as they could trust that he wouldn’t do something stupid again. 

“Well, if you hadn’t tried pulling a stunt like that then your door would still be in its frame.” Larry snapped back at Connor, interrupting his wife. 

“Larry.” Cynthia scolded her husband before heading to the balcony with Zoe to eat their dinner. 

“I’m eating upstairs.” Connor took his food and went up to his bed, he wasn’t hungry so he just left it on his bedside table before going back to his nap that had been interrupted by Zoe. 

 

When he woke up it was dark out, he hadn’t planned on falling asleep for that long but now that he had, Connor knew there was no way he was going to be able to fall back asleep any time soon. When he checked his phone it said it was gone eleven o’clock and he hoped that meant that his family had gone to bed already. He got out of bed, shoving his phone into the back pocket of his pants and opened up his duffle bag. Connor dug through his clothes, random art supplies and books until he came across a beaten up toiletry bag. Hidden inside were his lighter, cigarettes and weed. Larry had let Connor know at least ten times that the site didn’t tolerate smoking but since when did he care about rules? He quickly rolled a joint of weed and grabbed his lighter before hiding everything away again and sneaking downstairs. Thankfully, no one was awake so he got out pretty easily.

Once he got outside, Connor realised he had no idea of where he was going since he hadn’t bothered to look at a map of the site so he decided to just wander until he found somewhere quiet where he could smoke. The paths were quiet and he only passed a member of staff once who seemed to have clocked out for the night and was heading home. 

 

After about ten minutes of walking around aimlessly, Connor stumbled across a man-made beach which lead into the lake’s water. There was no one around so he sat took off his boots and socks, rolled up his jeans and sat on the sand with his feet dipped into the water. He lit his joint and took a deep inhale as he brought it up to his lips. He let out a sigh as the smoke filled his lungs and he just sat there, shutting off his mind. 

Connor wasn’t exactly sure how long he had been sat there before he heard footsteps coming from the direction of the lodges. He turned around and saw the blonde teen from earlier, Eric? Edmund? Evan? Connor was pretty sure it was Evan, well, 60% sure at least.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Connor asked him as he stood up from where he was sat and put the joint out in the sand. 

“Oh, um.” The other boy stuttered, kicking sand with his left foot. 

“Can’t anyone get a moment of peace these days,” Connor mumbled, raising his eyebrows at the boy. He didn’t know why he was so angry, probably the weed or because that’s just the way Connor was. 

“I can, I can go if you want. I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d go for a short work and some fresh air to calm me down you know. My therapist says my sleeping issues are due to my anxiety and I don’t know why I’m telling you this because now you probably think I’m a loser, I mean who goes to therapy? Well, I-” The teen let out all in one breath. It seemed that once he started talking he couldn’t seem to stop. Connor couldn’t take in the words he was saying since they all sort of joined together to make one long word. 

“Don’t I know you from somewhere.” Connor interrupted, tired of the pointless rant. Evan, or was it something else entirely, closed his mouth and started chewing on his bottom lip. 

“Oh. Yeah, we go to the s-same school. I I think.” It had taken a while for the boy to reply but when he did the words came out stuttered and broken up, a bit like how those talking toys sound when their batteries are running out. 

“You think?” Connor rose his eyebrows wishing this night would just end already. He had been fine out on his own but then this stranger had to walk in and ruin it all.  

“Well yeah. I mean, I know. I-I know. I’ve seen you around before and I’ve heard about you but wow you probably don’t want to know that people talk about you, I mean I don't talk about you, I don't really care about the rumours but you probably know about that anyway, right? Maybe you don't and know I’ve upset you now. I'm sorry. I hadn’t seen you around for a while though so I thought maybe you transferred which is why I said I think. I think-” Evan seemed to have two modes: rambling and stuttering, Connor thought. Now he felt his blood boiling as all the irrational thoughts ran through his head. He tried to calm himself down but it was too late. 

“What so you decided to find out where I was and stalk me is that why you’re here?” He shouted. 

“Um, no. No, why-why would I-” 

“So I would freak out and you could tell all your little friends how crazy I was right? Well, I’m not the freak, you’re the stalker so you’re the freak.” Connor pointed, stepping forward and nearly spitting at the boy. 

“I wouldn’t, that makes no sense, no-no, Peter, Jared’s-” 

“Fuck off.” Connor bellowed. 

“Con-.”

“I said fuck off.” Connor’s voice was quieter this time. Too calm that it was eerie, even to himself. 

“S-sorry.” The blonde boy turned and ran away from Connor, going back the way he came. Great, Connor thought, now he had scared away someone he didn’t even know and who hadn’t done anything wrong but for some reason, he had just lost control. He ran his hands through his hair, pulling on it slightly before groaning and walking back to the lodge with his shoes in hand, not being bothered to put them back on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to every who's read! I can't believe this already has over 100 hits!! I am so grateful!!
> 
> Please leave comments as to what you think!! They really motivate me and will help me through my a levels (and i need all the help I can get) 
> 
> See you soon!  
> I love you all!


	3. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Cynthia are overenthusiastic mothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a lot longer than was expected but here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> This is sort of the last introductory chapter if you will so things can really start developing from here.
> 
> TW:  
> Mentions of disordered eating. Not much, it's literally one sentence.  
> Panic attacks  
> Mentions of Anxiety 
> 
> If you want a chapter summary then message me on tumblr (conn-stellxtion) and I'll explain everything that happened.

Evan woke up and the sun was already shining through the curtains that covered the glass doors to the balcony, making the room a golden colour. Once he had gotten home last night he had struggled to get to sleep, his mind reeling over the encounter with Connor. He knew it was his fault that Connor had gotten so angry, he didn’t know why it was his fault but he knew it couldn’t have been anyone else's. Maybe Connor was just having a bad day, the rational side of Evan’s brain thought but that was quickly replaced with the spiral of anxiety that Evan was so used to. 

Evan sat up in bed and notice that Jared was nowhere to be seen so he got up and got dressed, putting on his shorts and a polo shirt before heading downstairs. In the living room was Jared who was sat eating a bowl of cereal in front of the TV. Evan could see the adults out on the balcony, looking at the lake. 

“I thought you’d never wake up. You were like sleeping beauty up there, minus the beauty.” Jared greeted, swallowing another spoonful of what seemed to be lucky charms, as the  _ Adventure Time  _ theme tune began.

“I-uh, I stayed up late last night,” Evan mumbled as he took a seat next to Jared on the sofa. He didn’t want to tell Jared what had happened last night, he knew he would only make fun of him for it. How he had already made Connor explode and they hadn’t even been there a day. Evan just wanted to forget the whole thing, as impossible as that seemed since it hadn’t stopped running through his head, his brain pinpointing everywhere he went wrong. 

“I bet. I woke up in the middle of the night and you were nowhere to be seen. Were you sorting yourself out?” Jared winked and wiggled his eyebrows at Evan and it took awhile for the other boy to realise what he meant. Once Evan understood, he could feel his cheeks heating up.

“Wha-no! Of course not, I just-” Evan sputtered, aware that his cheeks were probably now bright red, which was not helping his case.

“You weren’t in bed last night Evan?” Heidi asked as she walked back inside, to get a glass of water from the sink. 

“I uh, I just went for a walk mom, to help me sleep.” Evan fiddled with the hem of his shirt, picking at a loose thread. 

“As long as you’re staying safe and looking after yourself.” Heidi gave him a reassuring smile before heading back outside to join Peter and Anne. She seemed happy, Evan noticed, and more relaxed. It was nice seeing his mom like that, she had been working hard for so long. He knew it wasn’t easy having to single-handedly raise Evan as well as having to find the money for everything. Evan knew he didn’t help with the stress he put on her with his anxiety or the cost of his medication and therapy. 

Evan and Jared watched another episode of Adventure Time before they decided on going swimming that day, or at least Jared decided and Evan just agreed. They went up to their room to pack their bags and brush their teeth, with Evan taking his meds, before heading out of the lodge. Jared had forgotten to pack his swim shorts, which had caused a lot of frustrated swearing, and so the two boys were heading to the swim shop that they had on site. Jared had glanced over the map and insisted that he knew where he was going and so Evan followed his lead. 

“Of course, I would be the one to forget my swimming trunks. I bet the prices here are going to be insanely high.” Jared mumbled as they followed the dirt path, to wherever this swim shop was. 

“I’m sure they won’t be that bad, will they?” Evan asked, he honestly had no idea. He had never been to a place like this before so he wasn’t sure what the prices would be like. He had been surprised that they even had something as specific as a swim shop on site. 

“You’re kidding me, right? Places like these are money-making machines. All they care about is the dollar.” Jared shook his head a little to emphasise his point, eyes wide. 

“Oh.” Evan looked down at the floor and continued playing with the hem of his shirt. He was stupid for not knowing that and now Jared was agitated. If he had just done some research, looked on some forums or maybe had some common sense then he would have known that and he could stop making stupid mistakes. Stupid  _ stupid  _ Evan. 

“You alright? You seem a little out of it this morning.” Jared asked and when Evan looked up he noticed that the other boy seemed to look genuinely concerned. He knew he wasn’t though, they were just family friends after all. “I mean you always seem a little out of it but more than usual.” 

“I’m fine, just, I didn’t sleep well last night is all.” 

“Too busy thinking about Zoe being next door?” Jared smirked, returning to his normal self as he nudged Evan in the arm with his elbow. 

“No, I told you, I don’t like her anymore.” Evan snapped slightly, regretting it instantly. He was tired and agitated and his anxiety was getting the worst of him. He apologised instantly, not failing to notice the confused look on Jared’s face. Evan didn’t talk for the rest of the walk, instead choosing to listen to Jared’s rant about how he had failed to get past a certain level on the zombie game he always played with Michael and Jeremy before they all went away so now when they went back they were going to be out of whack and it would take even longer to get through it. 

“This must be the place,” Jared stated as the two boys reached a rather large wooden building. “The Plaza. Come on, I can’t wait to finally get in that pool and cool down.” 

The inside of the plaza was arranged in a cross with shops and restaurants all along the outside. Right next to the entrance to the building was the shop they had been looking for. It had a display window with a light blue backdrop advertising some of the stock they had and above the door was the name  _ Aquatique _ in cursive with a cartoon turtle next to it. Jared went straight to the sale section where it was _buy one get one free_ and still complained about the prices. In the end, though he chose a pair of trunks with a banana leaf pattern and a pair with hibiscus flowers on them. It seemed he was really going for the tropical look, Evan only had his dark blue swim shorts and a really old red pair that he was sure Jared was going to tease him about as they made him look like a lifeguard, just without the abs. 

After Jared had paid for his items the two teens made their way to the indoor swimming pool which was a 15-minute walk from the plaza. Once they got there they went to the changing rooms to change into their swim gear before putting their stuff in a locker and heading into the pool. 

The whole building was decorated to look like a lagoon in a rainforest. There were palm trees and banana plants with animal decorations scattered around. The pool was massive which meant that although there was a lot of people there, it didn’t feel like it. Evan actually felt overwhelmed with the amount of space there was but he just concentrated on the feeling of the water against his ankles as he stepped in. Water always managed to calm Evan down, he used to love swimming as a kid. His dad would take him to lessons every Thursday night and then they’d go swimming as a family on Sundays. Of course, when his dad had left that all stopped and Evan rarely went swimming and forgot about how much he enjoyed it.

“Woah, this place is sick. It’s like a tropical paradise in here.” Jared exclaimed before adding, “And now, the name of this site finally makes sense.” Jared and Evan made their way into the water until the water was up to their shoulders, they swam some lengths before deciding to go on the water slides that were hidden in the corner, disguised in the trees. It had taken some persuasion on Jared’s part to get Evan to go on the slides with him but in the end, Evan admitted defeat and he actually enjoyed the rush of falling down and landing in the water. He would  _ not  _ go on the fishbowl slide though. That was the one where it was like a giant funnel and you just went around it until you fell out the bottom, Jared would never get him on that, so instead he just watched Jared going down it.

When the two boys’ skin was all wrinkled from the water they decided they had been swimming long enough and decided to get out and head back to the lodge, when they got there they were surprised to see Heidi and Anne already back. They had gone to the spa together while Peter went to the putting range to practice his golf swing. 

“You’ll never guess what we have planned.” Anne grinned after asking the boys how their day had been. “We’re having dinner with the Murphy’s tonight, you know the family next door?” 

“We’re what?” Jared spat out the water that he had been drinking, quickly rubbing his chin to clean himself up. 

“Well, you said you knew Connor and Zoe, and Cynthia, their mom, was at the spa. We got talking and well, plans happened.” Anne shrugged, not understanding the shocked looks on both Evans and Jared faces. 

“It’ll be fun don’t you think Evan?” Heidi asked, giving a soft smile.

“Uh, I, um, y-yeah. S-sure. Why, why wouldn’t it be?” Evan stuttered out, his mind was running at a hundred miles a minute. How was he going to make it through a dinner with the Murphy’s? He barely made it through dinner with the Kleinmann's. He would be expected to make conversation and then he’d mess up and annoy them and what if Connor was as angry as people said because then Connor would shout at him for being annoying and then Evan would have a panic attack which would lead to Connor killing him and then he’d die. He couldn’t do this why would his mom think this was a good idea? 

“You alright honey?” Heidi asked, concern evident on her face. “Your breathing has gone kind of funny.” 

“I’m, I’m fine.” Evan got out in between staggered breaths, trying to calm himself down. 

 

“Can you believe that mom is making us have dinner with the Murphy’s? I bet Connor’s going to lose his shit and all hell is going to break loose.” Jared moaned as they got ready for their meal later their evening. It was at a Paradise Falls own brand restaurant in the Plaza that Evan remembered seeing when they went to Aquatique. 

“I don’t, that’s mean Jared.” Evan half-heartedly tried to defend the other boy, he knew it was pointless with Jared who was always saying snide comments about Connor and if Jared knew about the events of the previous night then he would call Evan an idiot for sticking up for ‘the psychopath’. 

“It’s true. You know it’s only a matter of time before he shoots the whole school down.” Jared insisted, tying up the laces of his shoes. “At least Zoe will be there. Even if you don’t like her anymore, then maybe I can persuade her to have a piece of this.” He gestured to his body as he did a little shimmy and Evan couldn’t help but break out into laughter at the serious look on Jared’s face as he did it. 

“What?” Jared questioned, confused.

“You-” Evan tried to get out but he couldn’t breathe between fits of laughter. 

“What? I what?” And then Jared started laughing along with him, realising how stupid he must have looked. This was the part of Jared that Evan liked being friends with. Not the part where they were ‘family friends’ or where Jared made snide comments all the time. No, Evan liked the belly aching laughter and silliness that Jared managed to pull out of Evan every now and then. 

“Boys, time to go!” They heard Anne call up the stairs of the lodge. Evan quickly slipped his shoes on and stuffed his phone into his pocket before heading downstairs with Jared in tow. His hands were sweating from nerves and he kept counting to eight and back again in his head to stop himself from freaking out over the dinner he was about to have. He’d never talked to any of the Murphy’s before, this was going to be hell except when he mumbled an apology when he accidentally walked into Connor in the school corridor. Both boys had been on their phones and hadn’t looked where they were going. This was going to be hell.

“How are you holding up?” Heidi asked Evan as they walked side by side on their way to the Plaza. The Kleinmann’s ahead of them, chatting happily.

“I’m, I’m fine mom.” Evan tried to give her a weak smile but he thought it probably looked more like a grimace. 

“How are you feeling about this dinner? I know it’s a lot of new people but Jared said you knew Connor and Zoe, so maybe it’ll be good for you to make some new friends.” Heidi looked at him eagerly. It always hurt him when she gave him that look. She wanted him to have more of a social life and get out there more but he just couldn’t do it and he doubted the Murphy’s were going to be the ones to change that. 

“Yeah mom, I’ll try.” 

“Deep breaths honey, if it gets too much, just let me know.” Heidi then went on about how one of the nurses at work was pregnant but it wasn’t her husbands so the whole hospital wing was talking about it. 

“Jared, fix your hair would you son?” Evan heard Peter instruct Jared as they entered the Plaza. The slight wind on the walk had made his hair go in every direction imaginable and he kind of looked like Harry Potter Evan thought, if only Jared’s glasses were round instead of square. 

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Jared questioned but started to flatten his hair anyway. 

“Just, fix it.” Peter shook his head and laughed slightly as they headed towards the restaurant. As soon as they entered Anne and Heidi spotted a lady who Evan presumed to be Cynthia. She had slightly ginger hair and was wearing a white blouse and blue jeans. Evan looked at the rest of the table. There was a man, Larry he presumed, who had grey hair and a face that intimidated Evan. Zoe was next to Larry and she was wearing a blouse with some aztec print on it and blue jeans and then next to Zoe was Connor. He was wearing his signature black jeans and a black pullover hoodie. He was resting his head on his palm as he fiddled with a napkin, looking like he wished to rather be eaten by a shark than stay where he was. 

“Hello, it’s so nice to meet you all! Please take a seat. You must be Peter, so nice to meet you.” Cynthia got up and welcomed them as the Hansens and Kleinmanns’ made their way to the table. She shook Peter’s hand before giving the rest of them a hug. Evan stiffened at the gesture but let it happen anyway as he tried to continue counting to eight and back again. 

“I’m Jared.” Jared waved slightly. “Hi, Zoe.” He grinned. 

“Um, hi?” Zoe’s look was quizzical like she was wondering how Jared knew her. 

“You must be Evan then, please get comfy. The waitress should come back soon, we asked her to give us a few extra minutes while we waited for your arrival.” Cynthia told them as she got back into her seat. Heidi sat at the end of the table next to Cynthia and Anne was sat opposite her. Peter was opposite Larry and then Jared sat opposite Zoe. Evan stood there for a moment before realising that the only seat left was opposite Connor. Wiping his sweaty hands on his shorts, Evan took his seat trying to avoid eye contact with the long-haired boy. 

The group ordered their food, Evan deciding to go with chicken strips, fries and a soda. He was going to get a burger but he decided that it would be too messy and then he’d make a fool of himself and everyone would judge him. Jared didn’t seem to care about that as he took a bite of his mac n cheese burger. Evan noticed that Connor had only ordered a bowl of fries but wasn’t really eating it and instead was just moving it around in his bowl. He hadn’t said anything and had just kept looking at his food.

“Boys, you heading into senior year then?” Larry asked Jared and Evan as they were eating their meal. 

“Yes, sir.” Jared nodded after swallowing a bite of his burger.

“Got any plans for college? Zoe’s in the year below you but she’s already certain that she wants to study music. She’s very talented. Aren’t you Zoe?” 

“We actually went to the winter concert last year didn’t we Evan. You were great by the way.” Jared said, turning to Zoe to give her the compliment. 

“Thanks?” Zoe still seemed confused by how Jared seemed to think he knew her and if Evan wasn’t so anxious then he thought he would have found it hilarious. 

“I’m thinking about going into computer science or video game design,” Jared told them, before taking another bite of his burger and a slice of tomato fell out of his bun, causing Connor to snort and Larry glared at him quickly before turning to Evan, a smile back on his face.

“What about you, Evan?” Larry asked. Evan instantly felt like he was underwater. He had managed to go so far without having to talk and could just nod along with Jared and laugh when he was meant to. Evan felt like his lungs were being filled with rocks and he couldn’t breath. He felt really hot and clammy and all his mind could come up with was a mantra of  _ runrunrun _ . 

“Oh, I-uh.” He tried to say something between his quick breaths but nothing was coming out. Stupid Evan, he thought, it’s just a simple question say something.  _ Runrunrun. _

“Evan?” Jared asked, concern laced in his voice. 

“Sorry, I uh.” Evan finally got out breathlessly. “I feel sick. I think- I think I should go. Yeah, um. Sorry, hopefully, I’ll, bye.” Evan pushed his chair back, nearly making it tip over and ran out towards the exit. He noticed Connor had looked up through the whole ordeal and was watching him. He thought he heard his mom dismiss herself and follow him but he wasn’t sure he just had to get out of there. 

“Is he okay?” He heard someone ask from behind him but he couldn’t distinguish who. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has read this, bookmarked it, given kudos or left a comment. Life is shit rn but you guys are really making me smile. 
> 
> If you liked this chapter please show it some love by commenting and given kudos because it really does help motivate me and makes me smile. 
> 
> If you want to talk about this fic with me head over to my tumblr and send me a message (conn-stellxtion)


	4. Swim Shorts and Hoodies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Cynthia back at it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops it's been a while. But here's another chapter! Enjoy!
> 
> Ngl, I wrote this out this morning in a brief period of inspiration before it went away, so it is slightly rushed and I haven't proof read it yet but I wanted to upload it now just to see what you guys think.

It had been a couple days since the incident with the Murphy’s and Evan had mercifully been able to hide from them to shield his embarrassment.  Stupid Evan and his stupid panic attacks. Why couldn’t he just be normal and talk to people without freaking out. Dr Sherman had weaselled what had happened out of him and told him that he had done great and that it was an intense situation for him to be in. He always used that word, intense. Evan didn’t really understand why.

 

Heidi had also left to go back home. She received a work call asking her to go back to work for an unspecified amount of time. Delilah, one of the other nurses, broke her leg and so she couldn’t work, and they had no cover. They promised that it wouldn’t be for long and that she could go back to her holiday in no time once they have found a more permanent replacement. Heidi had apologised profusely and promised that she would come up during her days off. The Kleinmann’s were understanding and told her to look after herself and that they could look after Evan in a voice that made him feel like Heidi had told them about his anxiety. Meanwhile, Evan just stood there as she left, once again feeling disappointed. He wished his mom could just buck up the courage to say no instead of constantly leaving him alone and as usual he wished that for once, he could be the priority.

Heidi had now been gone for two days and Anne had once again planned an activity with the Murphy’s, swimming.

“Come on, it will be fun,” Anne told them in response to Jared’s groans at the news. They had already packed their swim bags and were heading to the pool but they had only just been told the Murphy family were going to be there as well.

“Yeah, like it was fun last time.” Jared rolled his eyes.

“Jared. It’s going to be fine. Evan’s feeling better now aren’t you sweetie?” She gave Evan a reassuring smile which made his cheeks go hot.

“Sure thing, Mrs Kleinmann.” He muttered, trying to shrink into himself even more than normal.

When they got to the pool, which was just a ten-minute walk away, Cynthia ran up to them as they walked through the door and gave Anne a hug before directing her to the changing rooms and already jumping into the middle of a conversation. The door in which they entered led them to an area with lockers and to the right the changing rooms. To the left was a small balcony with tables and chairs to overwatch the swimmers and in front of them was the pool. The pool was a rough rectangle but was filled with all different activities. There was an area dedicated to swimming, a small bay-like area with underwater benches. There was a Jacuzzi, an area with a net and balls to play water polo or volleyball as well as a waterslide and an area filled with inflatables for the kids. Evan noticed that Zoe was already in the pool, wearing a floral swimsuit, sitting on one of the benches.

“Just put the trunks on and take off that damn hoodie.” Evan heard Larry, trying to be quiet but failing. He was holding a pair of black swimming trunks and was holding them out to Connor who was still in his black skinny jeans but this time was wearing a black t-shirt and some type of tie-dye jacket, with a backpack, slung over his shoulder. He looked unbothered but didn’t reach out to take the item of clothing. When Larry noticed their arrival he shoved the trunks into Connor’s chest before heading in their direction and leaving Connor behind who looked up to see where he was headed and his gaze landed on the blonde boy.

It was weird seeing Connor. The day after the dinner, Connor had found Evan in the forest sat under the tree. They hadn’t talked for long, but the taller boy had apologised for shouting at him that night on the beach and he had actually seemed sincere about it. Evan also noticed that Connor seemed disconnected. Like he wasn’t fully present. However, he made sure Evan was okay after the night's events and it was like he had seen a different side to Connor and so he told him it was fine and then Connor was on his way. Seeing him now was unnerving, he was expecting the cold, harsh boy that he was used to but he hoped for the kind Connor that he had witnessed briefly.

Connor quickly tore his gaze away, and quickly walked over to the balcony and took a seat as one of the tables, dumping the trunks onto the floor and pulling something out of this bag. Evan couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but it looked like a notebook of some sorts.

“Why don’t you boys go and get dressed and we’ll meet you in the pool,” Peter told them before starting up a conversation with Larry as they also made their way towards the changing rooms.

“What’s up with him?” Jared questioned as he and Evan made their way into the water after changing into their swimwear. Jared being Jared wore bright pink trunks with yellow hibiscus flowers covering them, whereas Evan was wearing a navy blue pair with a small embroidered seagull on the pockets, small and unnoticeable. Feeling conscious about his stomach, Evan held his arms around his stomach until he was deeper into the water.

“Maybe he just doesn’t like swimming.” Evan shrugged.

“Who doesn’t like swimming.” Evan had to agree there. Swimming was one of the small list of things that helped calm him down and take his mind off things. As long as he wasn’t out of his depth and of course there were no sharks around then the water instantly managed to make him relax.

Jared swam over to Zoe with Evan following and they both took a seat. Jared next to Zoe, Evan next to Jared. Evan smiled at her as Jared said some weird obscure reference to greet her.

“Those are some trunks,” Zoe stated staring at the shorts that Jared was wearing it what seemed to be a mixture of confusion, disgust and amazement, which lead to Jared showing them off even more.

After a couple hours of Evan told Jared that he would meet him on the balcony when he was ready as he was starting to get tired. Jared and Zoe were continuing to go on the waterslide and both sets of parents were sat down in the water in some discussion, he wouldn’t be missed, so he climbed out of the pool and got his towel from his locker. He walked up to the balcony, with the towel wrapped around himself to keep his warm before the panic of where to sit hit him. Connor was still sitting at his table, but he had put his hair into a loose topknot and seemed to be sketching in his notebook. Would it be weird to sit with Connor? They hardly knew each other, and it would be uncomfortable after their last encounter. But would it be even worse not to sit with him? Their families had come here together after all and it might seem rude.

“You can sit down, you know. Unless…” Connor stated without looking up before Evan could make up his mind.

“Oh, right, yeah,” Evan muttered, quickly rushing to the seat opposite the other boy and sat down without making eye contact. Unless what? Now Connor is going to think that Evan didn’t want to sit with him and although that wasn’t untrue, it wasn’t particularly true either. “No, I, uh, sorry. I d-didn’t know you if you would w-want me sitting with you. Of course, I want to sit here, why, uh, why wouldn’t I?” Evan rambled before he could stop himself. Connor looked up then and Evan realised just how good Connor looked in a top knot. In a totally platonic way, of course, it was merely an observation.

“Right.” The other boy squinted slightly, before going back to his drawing

“What are you, uh, d-drawing?” Evan asked, trying to fill the awkward silence that had covered them like a blanket.

“Why would you want to know?” Connor snapped, almost like it was his natural reaction to do so.

“I- uh, sorry, you don’t have to tell me. I just thought it might b-be int-teresting-“

“People.” Connor interrupted him from his rambles.

“Huh?” Evan asked, confused and slightly thrown off by the interruption.

“I’m sketching people. Whoever I see that looks interesting.”

“Oh, well that’s pret-ty cool.” Evan smiled, finally feeling like he was getting somewhere. “C-can I see?”

“No.” Connor snapped again, looked up at Evan and his face seemed to soften. “I mean they’re private so.”

“T-that’s okay.” Evan muttered, pulling his towel tighter around him. Just as he thought a conversation was going well, it would plummet right back down to being disastrous.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t keep snapping at you, you’ve done nothing wrong,” Connor muttered.

“Are, are you okay?” Evan asked, the question seemed to come from nowhere but once it was out of his mouth, there was no taking it back.

“Just my dad earlier, you saw he was trying to force me to go swimming,” Connor said, once again, quietly. “And it’s so fucking hot,” Connor said louder this time, pulling at his jacket. 

“Why d-don’t you take your jacket off then?” Evan asked, and Connor gave no response, he just continued on with his sketching.

Evan looked over at the pool, and saw Zoe laughing at presumably some joke Jared had made as they were playing a very poor came of catch with the ball. The Murphy’s and Kleinmann’s had gone to the spa through a door at the back of the room. Everyone had found their place here at Paradise Falls, except it seemed Evan and Connor. Two boys sat together with, on the surface of it, nothing in common.

“Oi, Evan. We’re off now, you coming or what?” Jared shouted as he climbed out of the pool, ten minutes later. Evan quickly got out of his seat and made his way to the other boy.

“B-bye Connor.”

“See you later, Hansen.”

“What were you doing with Hansen?” Jared asked, squinting slightly in confusion.

“We were, uh, just talking.”

“You? And Connor Murphy? Talking?” Jared questioned, shaking his head, as he made his way to get changed. Only then did the whole encounter with Connor sink in. It was weird that Connor had him had talked, if only briefly. At school, Evan would never had said a word to the other boy and would have listened to the rumours, with a pinch of salt but he would still believe them even slightly. Now though, he wasn’t so sure. Connor seemed different once you really paid attention to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. I love me some Evan and Connor. 
> 
> Don't forget to kudos and comment, I'll love you forever if you do, and who does if you do, maybe the next chapter will be up quicker. 
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr: conn-stellxtion


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